Just Let It Out

When I am around my kids I do my very best to not cry in front of them though it is very difficult and, truthfully, I suck at it.  I've received the same advice from numerous hospital staff  (who will cry with me), friends and family (who will also cry with me) to just go with the flow. If I feel like crying, then cry.  I won't wallow but I will cry.  Because in a way I have to grieve the former life I had...one where I was "healthy" and able to keep up with my kids and spend time with them and other family and friends.  Those are all things I enjoy.  Life 2.0...I'm not sure what it will be like for me but I am going to imagine it being one where my kids have to keep up with me some of the time because I'll have gotten my energy back.  Where I can clean like a madwoman around the house and not feel tired until the end of the day.  Be able to handle any amount of stress that comes my way without my heart wanting to jump out and make its presence known to everyone around me.  One where I can laugh and joke, run and play and continue to be surrounded by those I love and that love me back.

So, when I cry, when I let my feelings out, if it makes you feel uncomfortable I truly am sorry.  But it's something I need to do.  It's something my kids need to know is ok to do so long as you pick yourself right back up and continue on. 

If you ever feel overwhelmed and need to cry, just let it out.  You'll feel so much better!